Saturday, April 14, 2012

Reasons I'm not here

The obvious.
I have 4 kids. Yes, there are other mommies who do it butI haven't figured out how. And, I am trying really hard to just focus on my family. Enjoy these kids while they're little. They are getting too big waaaayyy too fast. Especially Baby P. She's just not staying little like I want at all.

I have a house. Is it always clean? No. Do I try? Yes. This leaves me with tiny shreds of time I can sit long enough just to go through emails. My brain isn't functioning at full capacity yet{will it ever again?} so a blog post is usually the last thing on my list of to do's. That's the truth.

Home construction. FML. It's never ending and always going. My hubs comes home from work, we eat, he plays a bit {mostly with the kids} and then it's off to the potty. Really. It's the bathroom we are working on. And, by we I mean him.

I hate {repeat HATE} that people can come here to read this and yet stay a safe distance from me IRL. There are in fact people I don't want to talk to that haunt this blog but there are others who just read & go. People who I otherwise would run into somewhere and would like to spend time catching up with. Then when we chat, they already seem to know everything about me and leave me with little to say. It's a little weird. It's obvious they read here but not obvious why we don't talk more.

Being vulnerable. It just sounds icky. I know that my best blog posts come from my life. I just have such a hard time opening up. Can I embrace the haters without hating the game? Part of me can confidently sit here and say 'I don't care. Hate on people.' But, the side that is more me......well, that side starts to feel like I got picked last for teams in gym class. Trolls & hobbits flock to vulnerable blog posts and putting myself out there is hard. And, kinda scary.

And, really I just question whether I'm too boring. I'm just a mom. With mom stories. Like every other mommy blogger.  I mean, I might find them funny but is it worth writing a whole post about what C yelled at the neighbor boy? {maybe}

By the way, while it was most certainly funny {to me at least and only in my head} it was very inappropriate. Let me just say that again. It was very inappropriate. And, since there is no way to convey exactly how it went down I will just let Modern Family elaborate a little on this for me.


Not the least bit funny.

Also, calling attention to this word and how wrong it is to say resulted in it being repeated a few more times.

Mommy fail.
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